Someday (I’m putting it in writing here) the front door to my house is going to be Turquoise! I would paint it right away, if not for the yellow/peach of the brick and trim - that color scheme just doesn’t do it for me. But eventually…
In 2010, I had a dream. (Pay attention to the guidance throughout on working with your dreams!)
I’m in my Grandmama’s house - the house where my mom lived during her teenage years, and where I visited regularly until my Senior year of high school, when Grandmama moved from Northern Indiana to where we lived in Columbus, Georgia. In the dream, the door to the basement is Turquoise. (When writing your dreams, write them in the present tense!)
A little girl, maybe about 9, is leading me by the hand to open the Turquoise Door and go into the basement. The steps descending to the basement are wooden, with no hand railing. Although not as spooky as my other grandparent’s basement, it’s still quite foreboding down there! Add to that - I know there is a Wild Child flailing around in that dank and ominous space!
This is why the little girl is taking me there. To find her...
We begin to make our way down the narrow steps. I am cautious, yet have a genuine desire to help the aged 12ish Wild One who is thrashing about and making gutteral screams down below (Think Jane Eyre). I can’t see her, as there is a curtain separating her from us.
I now have another companion on the steps - a 5 year old little girl, who is quite excited and playful. As I said, I want to go down and be with the older girl who is clearly in so much agony. I want to let her know that she’s not alone, that I can be with her and help her. But I, in the dream, my ego self (the way I see myself and what I believe to be true about myself) am afraid!
I’m afraid that the two littler girls are going to play a trick on me and lock me in the basement, if I take my eye off of them! So I suffice to reach my arm around the curtain to let the one with the raw visceral emotion know that I see her and I hear her.
I can’t remember if there was a sense that I would be coming back or not.
Come back I did...
Upon waking up, I knew that this dream deserved and called out for some devoted time and attention. But I had no idea that the potency it held would continue to unfold layers of healing, and provide creative and life-giving energy for me for 10 years, and beyond!
As I responded to the call for some DreamWork, I was guided to do a meditation to carry the dream forward. Carl Jung calls this active imagination. I knew that the Wild Child was an essential part of me that had been relegated to the basement of my unconscious and needed my attention in a huge way!
Gradually, the energy of the dream began to emerge into my consciousness.
I connected with the inner 7-12 year old who didn’t have much access to her vibrancy.
I found my "Mother Wound" (I have a horse story about this!)
I found generational grief and loss.
I found so many stories and experiences that had shaped and formed my beliefs, my reactions, my behavior patterns. I learned to treasure them. To tell them. To express my emotions about them. To honor the people involved. Even the ones who caused me pain.
I also found this massive amount of energy to access in my life! I expanded my work to include InterSpiritual Guidance/Healing with people all over the world. I invested in numerous trainings and classes (I basically created my own graduate school program! So much more fun than actual graduate school!) I have developed the most beautiful and deep friendships with both women and men. I went on a solo camping trip from Austin to CA.
I’ve created a magical, spiritual and transformational space in my Austin home where many people have experienced deep healing, expansive community, and lots of love and TLC. Even though I don’t have that Turquoise Door at the threshold to my house YET!!
Because the message of theTurquoise Doorin my dream is this…
"Come to Me! Walk through Me! I call to you with my vibrant, earthy, and beautiful voice! Yes, you hear those visceral cries and that thrashing about within my space, but have no fear! Re-connect with and listen to those parts of yourself! That intensity only means they need you! I promise that doing so will truly transform you! You will find Energy. Life. Wholeness.”
The Turquoise Door ensures that, even when it is uncomfortable, spooky, or scary, it really IS safe to enter. Our Organizing Self gives us little guides and helpers, and even if they appear to be mischievous, they really have our best interest at heart.
In my carrying forward of The Turquoise Door dream, I gave myself a key to the basement door! That way, I could descend into the damp darkness, take down the curtain separating me from my Wildness, my essence, and not be afraid. I would have a way out even if those two little girls decided to play games!
Where is the Turquoise Door in your life? We are well past the threshold of 2021...which doors have been beckoning for you to open them, walk carefully down the rickety steps, and reach around the curtain? Where is the Wild Child hidden within your psyche? Waiting to be seen and recognized as powerful energy!
Allow it to emerge, to be re-membered and re-integrated into your life. To bring Magic and Beauty, Hope and Love.
Thank you for listening to my dream, and to the messages it held for me - the potency it carried! I hope you've been inspired to listen to one of yours! Let me know if I can help you with that Listening!