I have a practice of pulling oracle or Tarot cards, as a way of listening to myself and to Spirit, and of caring for myself. A couple of months ago, feeling kind of blah and a lack of motivation, I shuffled a deck and drew some cards. One of them gave the guidance to “clear out the clutter!” Not exactly what someone feeling unmotivated wants to hear. I knew precisely which area of my house needed clearing!
In my house, within the Healing Room, an 8X10 space that is painted a soothing color of barely blue with a hint of green (called “Stillness”, believe it or not!), is a closet about 2 ft by 4 ft. I call it my “work closet,” and it has been filled, pretty much floor to ceiling, with evidence from the entirety of my 30+ year professional career, as well as mementos and photos from my childhood and young adult life. I began keeping journals in the mid 90’s. All of them are in this holding space. An abundance of artwork has resided here – mine, and that belonging to the children and teenagers I worked with throughout the years. Workshop and presentation content – many that I attended and learned from. Some that I put together for teaching and Healing Circles. Poetry and Writing Pieces. And so much more!
I have found that when I’m emotional, depressed, grieving, or blah-feeling, movement can open things up for me. When I drew this card, I sensed the wisdom that taking the action to begin clearing out this closet could create some shift - in my mood, and in my life.
That was at least 4 months ago now, and I have looked at almost every piece of paper and item that was stored in that closet! It was exhausting, exhilarating, bittersweet, relieving, heart-opening, and confidence-building!
I found papers from my 1st grade class, my girl scout sash and badges, my graduation cap and gown, notes from my high school girlfriends, passed between classes and almost always about BOYS!
I found so many letters!! The ones that were so poignant to me were the ones from my Aunt Ann, my Grandma Jean, my sister, Suzanne, and my Mom. Wow, have I been loved by them all!
There were several synchronicities that occurred during the clearing out time. For instance, in my boxes of personal momentos, I found many of the newspapers from the week of 9/11, in 2001. I discovered this just a couple of days before my dear friend, Heather Elizabeth, was making a pilgrimage to NYC. She was paying homage to John Lennon, as well as the memorial for the Twin Towers. (I connect you with a link to her Facebook page to learn about a fascinating calendar system - a "map of synchronicity" that revealed a connected here). Also, I found a prayer from 2001 for Palestinians, and peace with Israel, just days following the outbreak of more violence in that region in 2023.
Another time, a group I participate in entered a time of the year in which the Peacock figured prominently. Just after participating in this group, I discovered an image of the Peacock. In the closet! The Peacock had become a symbol of expressing my voice, empowerment, claiming and displaying my beauty, walking through life with authenticity and confidence. Here She was, making her presence known in a powerful way!
I heard myself say, “There’s Magic in this closet!”
It struck me! We are used to the phrase “the skeletons in your closet!” Meaning that we feel the need to hide and bury so much of our lives and experiences in the corners of our psyches, until the contents seem so daunting that we just slam the door closed even harder on them. So many patriarchal messages about being ashamed I believe are responsible for this phenomenon!! Instead, I was finding so many synchronicities – cosmic connections – so much energy, so much gratitude and evidence of support and love, so much appreciation for the path I have walked. Pure Magic!!
I live by the concept found in Depth Psychology and (I’ve recently learned) in Buddhism, as well, that there is treasure in the shadow parts of ourselves. Within every challenge there is a blessing. Within every neurosis, there is wisdom. Magic is hidden in the Closet! I took a wild ride on it!
Many of you are aware that I often use fire as a way to honor and transmute energy. I had many a fire during this time of purging and letting go! And every time I burned things, I would connect with that younger part of me that had those experiences, feelings, blessings and challenges. Or I would express gratitude for times in my life, experiences I had, people who had shared their love and lives with me.
At times, I recognized that the need to be so thorough and thoughtful about all of this seemed a bit compulsive. Because the thought of NOT being so intentional about it brought up anxiousness. But I decided that was ok. I didn’t want to miss any opportunity to reflect, to appreciate, to embrace all that has brought me to this point in my life.
Energy can neither be destroyed nor created. But it sure can be moved! Not only did I go on a Magic Closet Ride, I also moved a lot of energy! There’s the actual space that can now be utilized in more expansive ways. I am also aware that letting go of items, releasing energy that has been stored up, hidden, or saved, can lead to creativity and new life! And I know the power of appreciation and gratitude for the different parts of myself!
As we begin 2024, I invite you into your own release and energy clearing, if you haven’t already begun that! And to listen for the new creations that are waiting for some space to emerge within! Offer gratitude for the experiences you have had and the path you have walked!
I have a couple of offerings to share that just might encourage, guide or assist you in that effort. On February 2-4, I am leading a retreat for a small group of women in a serene setting in Wimberley, TX. It will be a time of deepening, healing, and connection. There is one more spot available. I also continue to offer individual or private group retreat experiences - from 3 hours, to a week(s).
My partner, Randy and I are collaborating with each other and some other musicians, to create a deep musical and reflective experience. Offered in a setting similar to a house concert or listening room, we are putting together songs, poems, brief meditative practices, and intuitive activities in a beauty-filled and sensual space. It will be fun and connecting, healing and heart-opening. Stay tuned for more details, or contact me and I will pass them along!
Here's to cleaning out closets and all the Magic we can find in them!!
Much Love - Alisa