Magical Wisdom from The Magdalene Retreat 2018, Part I

The Magdalene:  Wild and Wounded, Anointress, Beloved - A Retreat for Wisening Women debuted on July 20, 2018.  It was a profound and intimate experience, the seeds of which, I am quite sure, will be producing sprouts of growth, and ripened fruit for months to come for all of us who were present!  I intend for you,also, to experience some of the ripples of that magical weekend!  Let them roll over you in a refreshing and moving kind of way!

And men - please stay tuned!  An idea is gestating for a co-ed retreat - probably next Fall!  What I have to share applies to you too!

The weekend was, indeed, Magical!  With moments, and teachings, and synchronicities that spoke what mere words and even purposeful action struggle to relate.  Let me share a few lessons about Magic that I learned, and created space for.

THE MAGIC OF TRUST

You know those moments when you really have no choice but to trust?  Or any other choice will send you into a tailspin, a frenzy, or a freak-out?  I felt those moments as the retreat was drawing near.

Early in the week prior to the opening day of the retreat, my computer crashed.  It wasn't like there was anything critical to the workings of the retreat on it, but anything I may have wanted to print out, etc. - just to be organized and professional - wasn't going to happen! 

There were also those little extras that I had wanted to include - symbols of Mary Magdalene, artwork.  Details that I hadn't tended to.   I was feeling guilty about a "lackadaisacal" part of me that I thought may have taken over. 

And such a small group we had - would the participants feel like they were receiving a complete experience without more people to add their energy?

Deep within, though, I heard a Feminine voice calling me to trust Her.  I recognized that voice as Mary Magdalene.

She did not disappoint! 

There are many symbols associated with Mary Magdalene - symbols that appear over and over in the artwork, writings, and legends.  Among these are the chalice, the pomegranate, the fleur de lis, the unicorn.  One by one, throughout the weekend, the symbols began appearing, even though I had not collected them like I intended.  Pomegranate chocolate from HEB.  The fleur de lis printed on the front page of one woman's journal.  A unicorn on the angel card I drew the first night.  The "unicorn thread" that had been used for knitting a hat by one of the participants all weekend.  The use of "unicorn" as a term of endearment from another.  Upon reflection, we could all see how Mary Magdalene had been whispering to us throughout our time together.  Always guiding and supporting, always loving and encouraging.

Our group of 4 women  - a magical group to be sure!  Not to diminish how others could have or would have added beautiful energy - but it was clear that, as we are always invited to trust, the group was divinely formed.  The number 4 was perfect!  A number of bringing something into consciousness.  A number of stability and strength.  Those who participated, mature in their healing and spiritual journeys, came together, creating a nurturing and strong womb within which new life could be incubated.

For me, all of these signs and symbols, as well as witnessing how our little group came together, each one, was a little voice saying - "See - I told you.  This is all a part of a greater energy than yours.  It's all taken care of.  Just trust me."

You may not be planning a retreat, or any other event.  But chances are you have something going on in your life that needs you to take a step back, stop believing that it all relies on your energy or control, and trust.  Look around for the signs and symbols that leave no doubt that there is a greater energy supporting and guiding you.

There were at least two other themes of Magic in the weekend - I'll share those before too long - in Parts II and III of this blog post.  In the meantime, open yourself to what and how you might be invited to trust!

I mentioned that new life was/is being incubated.  Because it was immediately clear that this retreat does not stand alone - it is the beginning of something much bigger!  I can't say exactly what that "bigger" is yet, but it has to do with bringing men and women, masculine and feminine, strength and vulnerability, together.  It has to do with promoting the healing arts, as well as opening to a deep spirituality.  And it has to do with creating space to foster intimate partnership, and conscious relationship - with Mary Magdalene and Jesus as our guides.

While that idea is baking, I already have the next The Magdalene - A Retreat for Wisening Women retreat on the calendar!  I can't wait to share the experience with more amazing women who are looking to deepen their own healing and connection with the Divine - however it chooses to show up!

Alisa Carr/Eye of the Heart, Spiritual Director, DreamWorker, LCSW

Mary Magdalene - Divine Feminine

(written on April 18, 2018)

The next chapter in the story of my journey with Mary Magdalene.  Looking back, I now see that she was leading me into some unknown, and at times a little scary, territory!

I'm not sure I even knew it was a Thing, this new territory.

I'm speaking of the Divine Feminine!  There are stories within stories that brought me to Her.  I see now that Mary Magdalene was the catalyst!  As I write this I realize that the timing coincides with the ways I was connecting so intimately with her in my prayer with the scriptures - the stories I have already been telling.  Wow!!  2006.

Remember The Davinci Code?  I read that book with a fervor, discussing it with a friend who turned me on to it.  I wanted to see the movie when it came out, so I hurried to read the book first.

Although I couldn't really imagine there being a physical bloodline of Jesus, the idea that there were secrets and truths hidden from the public seemed totally believable to me!  I had no idea the extent to which this was true!

Some years later, I found myself reading a clandestine copy of Mary Magdalene, Bride in Exile, by Margaret Starbird, which I stumbled upon on one of my regular visits to Half Price Books.  I was living with a quite conservative woman at the time, and I remember feeling almost like I needed to hide the title of the book, so as not to arouse suspicion! (Can you say "projection"??  My own suspicious part rising up!)

It was the first scholarly writing I had encountered that dug deeper into the mysteries of Mary Magdalene.  I was amazed at the possibility that what I was so intrigued with in The DaVinci Code, might actually have some merit!

I was in transition.  I felt a call to more - but I didn't yet know what that MORE was.   I had to learn to listen to my own inner Desire, versus thinking that I needed to line myself up with some specific Divine Will that might NOT want me to do what I REALLY wanted.  When I did that, with the support and guidance of a Spiritual Director, I felt the MORE was to be in Austin!  

As my face turned toward Austin (from Bell County, Texas), I magically connected with someone who opened my eyes to a whole new way of honoring the Divine.  My path crossed with that of Heather Elizabeth Neary in ways that can only be explained by Divine Intervention.  I will tell you that complete story one day, but, for now, suffice it to say that it was so profound, I knew that it was from "God."  

The faith, the trust, that the Spirit was at work in what I was being exposed to, even though I had a part that was afraid I was somehow betraying my religion, helped me open up to the Divine Feminine that Heather and her teachers and mentors held space for so beautifully.  And who did I run into there, but Mary Magdalene! (As well as Mother Mary/Our Lady of Guadalupe)

Christianity, in the way that it has been revealed these last hundreds of years, doesn't have ownership of these powerful Feminine Beings.  There are all kinds of legends, stories, and spiritual traditions that were unknown to me.  This Mary Magdalene was even depicted as being pregnant with the seed of Jesus.  It would be some more time before I really explored these other traditions associated with Mary Magdalene.  But finding a familiar figurine, no matter what the story associated with her was, invited me to take a serious look at, and engage deeply with this Divine Feminine aspect of God.  

Shortly after this, I happened on the work by Cynthia Bourgeault that has been so transformative for me - The Meaning of Mary Magdalene.  

What's the takeaway here?  Mary Magdalene, and the path she has been leading me on, uncovers for me the Divine Feminine aspect of the Creator.  I see how it has been hidden and buried, demised and slandered - just like Mary Magdalene herself.  My next blog post, which is a continuation of the Sacred Circles series, also ties in...I'm right now amazed at the way in which this played out!  A synchronicity with my dreams and my Jungian class!  Be sure to catch it in a few days!

What is the Divine Feminine?  Let's save that exploration for the next part of the story...But, in the meantime, keep your eyes, ears, and heart open to see how She might be making her Presence known to you - maybe for the first time, and maybe in an even more expanded way.

I had no idea where this writing project was going to take me - I've known the highlights, but the details start presenting themselves to me as I write them!  So, thank you so much for reading these stories, and letting them walk around in your head and heart.  I am having a blast sharing them with you!

I hope you are considering the retreat this summer - The Magdalene: Wild and Wounded, Anointress,  Beloved - A Retreat for Wisening Women, or sharing it with someone you know who would resonate with it.  You will get to draw from her depth and breadth, and bring the energy of Mary Magdalene into your own story!

with gratitude!

Alisa Carr/Eye of the Heart

Called By Name

(written on April 6, 2018)

We are 6 days into the season of Easter.  The season of New Life, New Beginnings, Resurrection.  What are you noticing along your journey?  What is beginning to show itself?  What is emerging...out of the cocoon, so to speak?  What transformation is trying to burst through??  How are you being called forth?

In the archetypal story of Jesus living, even after death, Mary Magdalene is, once again, a central figurine.  She is the one to whom he comes first, asking her to deliver the message of his return to the rest of the disciples.  

In this, she has often been called the "Apostle to the Apostles."  

I love the intimacy of the story.  Mary Magdalene has gone to the last place that she knew Jesus to be.  She wants to anoint his body one last time, but she finds him missing from his tomb.  In the Gospel of John, she stays close by, weeping.  She cannot bear to leave, and she doesn't know what to do with herself as she stays.

She is so wracked with grief, that when she sees Jesus, she thinks that it's the gardener!  It is in Jesus calling her by name, that her eyes are opened to who it is who is with her in this sacred moment.  

It feels like a profound message, a Truth.  To be called by name, and experience being known in that moment - and that you know the one who is doing the calling. 

This doesn't occur each time our name is called.  Like taking roll, or being called into a Dr's office.

But it does occur when the calling comes from someone close.  What's that particular tone that your mom or dad uses when they say your name?  Or your child?  How does it feel when your lover or partner calls you by name?  Whether it comes from a parent, a child, a lover, or your best friend, the sound of your name with the voice of someone who loves you touches a place, deep in the heart.

I've heard so many stories of people who hear their name being called even by a loved one who has passed on!  

Or maybe, when there is isolation and aloneness, you feel the absence of someone calling your name.  You want your name to be called in that close and intimate way.  You want to be known.

I love this story so much, because, once again, Mary Magdalene and Jesus show us an experience of deep love and connection.  One that we, as human beings, cherish and long for.  The story has opened me to hearing my own name being called.

By the Spirit.  And by others.  

When I respond by moving closer to the sound of that voice, it results in me being known more and more deeply.  By the Spirit.  And by others.

And then I am lead out.  To share myself and my gifts.  To listen and respond to the parts of myself that are opened up as a result of the connections.  To grow in ways I never imagined were even possible!

One of the ways I have been asked by the Divine Spirit to grow is by sharing myself in a more public way.  To that end, I created several Facebook Live Meditations during Holy Week, the week prior to Easter.  Please check them out!  

I also heard my name called to have a retreat this summer - July 20-22!  With Mary Magdalene as our Guiddess.  The Magdalene:  Wild and Wounded, Anointress, and Beloved - A Retreat for Wisening Women.  You will be hearing more about that as the time comes closer.  But please save the dates, and reserve your spot!!

Listen...your name is being called!  By the Divine Spirit.  And by others.  And by me!  Let it lead you out.  Listen to the parts of yourself that open up.  Ask it to grow you in ways you never imagined were even possible!  

Peace Be With You!!

Alisa Carr/Eye of the Heart

Anointress and Initiator

(written on March 25, 2018)

Mary Magdalene, the Anointer - let's say Anointress!

This is the layer of The Magdalene that I want to talk to you about today...and it is a potent and powerful day to be talking about her, for a couple of reasons.  I will get to those a little later...

What it took me many years to recognize is that there are different stories in the canonical scriptures about a woman anointing Jesus.  The first one, in Luke, I already talked about.  It was of a Wild and Wounded Woman, who experienced healing and transformation, pouring out her love and gratitude towards her Healer.

The stories that appear in Mark and John are not that at all.  In Mark, the unidentified woman anoints Jesus's head.  And in John she is actually named as Mary.  Both occur just before Jesus is arrested.  Here, she is the Anointress, who prepares Jesus for the final leg of his journey on the earth, in his physical body.

Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus' feet, and wiped them with her hair.  

She prepares him for what he is called to do.

She anoints him for his mission, for his purpose, for his Work.

She knows exactly what she is doing, for it is her role, as his Beloved.

This is where the Christian story and the story of The Magdalene that comes from the esoteric traditions of the Goddess, as well as Greek mythology meet. Mary Magdalene knew and practiced the healing art of anointing, some say, connected with a lineage from the Egyptian Goddess, Isis. 

The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. 

The story of the King being anointed before a significant event or task is found throughout the mythologies in both Greece and Egypt.  It is the role of his Queen to do the honors.

There are two big transformational pieces here for me - and possibly for you too.

The Magdalene - Anointress

...a woman came with an alabaster jar of very costly ointment of nard, and she broke open the jar and poured the ointment on his head.  

One is that of Mary Magdalene as performing the ritual act of anointing prior to the biggest and most challenging experience of Jesus's life - his Initiation into the Mystery of Love being stronger that Death.  Sealing him as a symbol of her love, her wisdom, her support, and whatever else she had to offer to him as he set forth down the path he had to walk.  The Magdalene, the Anointress of Initiation.

I love ritual - for just this reason.  It places a seal and an intention in a powerful way.  As I have grown in my own journey of healing and spiritual growth, bringing life challenges into my awareness as part of my Initiatory process, helps me embrace every aspect.  (I have my Sister and Goddess friend, Heather Elizabeth to thank for a lot of this learning about what exactly is "initiation"!)  Creating or practicing rituals makes these life initiations even more sacred and meaningful.  Mary Magdalene models just this on a grand scale!!
 

...she has anointed my body beforehand for its burial...what she has done will be told in remembrance of her. 

The other piece, as I began to mention in my last blog on The Gospel of Mary, is that Mary Magdalene acts as a partner with Jesus.  It blows my mind and heart wide open to consider a human partnership in which the Most High/Creator God/dess incarnates Him/HerSelf!! 

Of course there is the obvious - that a woman could participate in that Holy Purpose is quite "thrilling," to use Cynthia Bourgeault's word. 

But what is equally as hopeful and expansive is that our intimate relationships could be such a crucible for the Divine to work through!  To know this (for I DO know it deep in my Being) makes all the hard work of relationship and communication; working through conflict, and listening to each other; honoring and loving both ourselves and the ones we connect with and commit to - it makes all that really MATTER!! 

Not just for the sake of being kind and loving our neighbor, but for the sake of birthing new life over and over again.  For the sake of Living in Love!

So what makes today, Sunday, March 25, so special to talk about Mary Magdalene?  In the Christian tradition, it is Palm Sunday today.  Traditionally we haven't included this amazing story in our liturgies (I wonder why not??!!), but the Wisdom Teacher, Cynthia Bourgeault calls us to do so, since it is such a pivotal and profound part of the path toward Easter. 

I have found a spiritual community that does!  If you are in the Austin area, and would like to experience it for yourself, please come for the service of the St Hildegard Community this afternoon, beginning at 4pm.  We meet at the Trinity Methodist Church chapel on 40th St and Speedway.  All faiths, beliefs, and traditions welcome - the only requirement is Love and Respect!

And on the Map of Synchronicity calendar - the Dreamspell calendar created out of the Mayan tradition, today is a day "guided by" the archetype of the White Mirror -  Mary Magdalene being the Divine Feminine Being connected with it!  (Please click here for Heather Elizabeth's webpage where you can learn more about this amazing synchronometer!!)

Anointress.  Healer.  Initiator.  Mary Magdalene.

Thank you for reading!

Alisa Carr/Eye of the Heart

To become fully human...

(written on March 17, 2018)

Have you ever started reading a book and thought to yourself, "has this person been walking around in my head, or what?" because the words on the page paint a picture of the ideas, beliefs, and concepts that have been dancing around in your own mind?  I've had this experience a few times, but maybe none so powerfully as when I began reading Cynthia Bourgeault's words in The Meaning of Mary Magdalene.

I share this with you as another layer in my relationship with Mary Magdalene.  I was introduced to this work in 2010/2011 through a book study at my church.  My Mary Magdalene pump had already been primed by the healing and emotional connection I experienced with her in the traditional scriptures, and intriguing scholarly books I had begun to explore.   

She decided to next show herself to me through the sacred text that has been named for her.

Cynthia's translation of and reflection upon the Gospel of Mary, the document found in Egypt in 1898 and included among the treasures now referred to as the "Gnostic Gospels", contained phrases like "organ of spiritual perception," "eye of the heart," "imaginal realm," "path of conscious love." What I read here reflected what I was experiencing and intending in every aspect of my life!  

The Gospel of Mary depicts Mary Magdalene as having a unique relationship with Jesus, in that she understood the deep truths he was trying to convey in a more complete way than the other disciples, that she had "become fully human."  Since she "got it," she could be open to receive even more.

The Gospel of Mary conveys that the path that Jesus was teaching was an internal path, a path of transformation, a path of shadow work and inner healing.  It portrays Mary Magdalene as having a connection and communication with Jesus during those three days between his physical death and resurrection, as a witness and even a grounding presence for Jesus as he journeys beyond his body.

As a psychotherapist who could never quite separate psychological healing from spiritual growth and opening more and more to the Spirit within, the Indwelling Christ, the Drop of the Divine, I felt like I had hit upon a jackpot of Truth!!  I was seeing the inner work I was doing with myself and with my clients as I read Cynthia's interpretations. 

I had been inviting clients into what I called "imaginal exercises" - a type of guided active imagination that was helping them heal deep wounds, and release long held fears and anxieties.  A significant portion of the Gospel of Mary appeared to take place in a similar space:  Cynthia called it the "imaginal realm."

What my heart's eye began to open to is that Mary Magdalene was a partner with Jesus in the guidance through and teaching of deep mysteries.  To consider this pretty much blew my own mind wide open - it had to catch up with what my heart already seemed to know!!  In a way, I felt like Mary Magdalene had already begun to teach me, and I just hadn't been aware that it was her!

Not only had Mary Magdalene been showing me how to have deep and intimate relationship with Jesus, she was also partnering with him to show me how to do deep and healing inner work - the calling I had received years before.  What I read in those pages of The Meaning of Mary Magdalene affirmed and confirmed that call, and the way my work had begun to unfold.  But the guidance was 2000 years old!

I write this in the early hours of the morning.  I finally turned the light on to put some of these words that were tumbling around in my head "on paper," so to speak.  But before I fired up the computer, I checked a message on my phone - a friend notifying me of the new film Mary Magdalene , which came out yesterday.  It is a depiction of the Gospel of Mary!  The synchronicity is not lost on me!

Mary Magdalene is not only a Feminine Spiritual Being who guides me in how to give and receive love, she is also a Disciple and partner of the Christ, who invites me to walk alongside her so that I can do likewise.  She opens up the Feminine aspects of healing, anointing, relationship.  She show us that partnership with the Divine is not only possible, but necessary.  And she shows us that doing our inner work opens us up to being more "fully human."  

I'm in!!

Alisa Carr, Eye of the Heart

She began to bathe his feet with her tears and dry them with her hair...

This is the first year that I have offered a weekend retreat, The Magdalene - Wounded Woman, Anointer, Beloved:  A Retreat for Wisening Women.  When listening in to what the theme would be, I experienced a strong call toward Mary Magdalene.  This isn't that strange, since I am all about her!!  I want to start sharing a little about Mary Magdalene and me!  She has captured my heart these last 12 years or so!!

I have come to learn that Mary Magdalene has also captured the hearts of many others, even many who don't proclaim to be "Christian," as that term has come to be understood in the past fifteen hundred years.  This was a surprise to my born and raised Episcopalian self!

I am very grateful to Mary Magdalene, and the way that she has been presented to me through the writings of Cynthia Bourgeault - The Meaning of Mary Magdalene, and Margaret Starbird - The Woman with the Alabaster Jar, for being an integral player in my second spiritual awakening, which began in 2010.  I have come to believe deep in my Being, that we, in the Christian tradition, only had part of her story, and thus, only part of Jesus' story.  With the study of the Gnostic gospels, particularly Thomas, Philip, and Mary, our view has broadened.  Not to mention the teachings from several other esoteric traditions!  But that for another time...

Before being introduced to all of that, though, my connection with her came through the canonical scriptures.  (Continue reading below this icon of Mary Magdalene)

The Magdalene is known as the woman who anointed Jesus in the Gospels.  In some of those stories, she is anointing his head, and this action precedes, and prepares him for, his capture, imprisonment, torture, and death.

In the Gospel of Luke, though, the woman is not named, except to be identified as "a sinful woman."  Luke also refers to this Mary of Magdala, as the woman out of whom Jesus cast seven demons.  There is much discussion among the scholars, as well as in the Divine Feminine camp, about why she may have been presented in this way - possibly to silence her voice beyond the resurrection, possibly so that the "master story" wouldn't be threatened. All of that makes a lot of sense to me, but, nonetheless, we have these stories of Mary Magdalene being in need of healing.

I feel her here as the "Wild and Wounded Woman."

At the time when I began to engage with these scriptures in a deep and personal way in 2006, I, too, was in need of healing.  I, too, felt like an outsider - too religious for some, not religious enough for others.  Wild and Wounded fit me perfectly. 

I resonated with the words "inappropriate," "unacceptable."  I had not yet found my voice fully.  I had not yet vanquished a great degree of shame I lived with.  I was just discovering who "Alisa" really is; just beginning to play with the idea that I needn't apologize for her.

You see, in the story in Luke's gospel, Mary Magdalene is not invited to the party.  She sneaks in and washes and anoints the feet of Jesus - with her tears and her hair and with her costly perfume - to the shock and horror of the prestigious men who hold the dinner party.  (You can read the whole story here, if you like.)

It is such an intimate expression of love.  I could imagine being that woman.  I wanted to be that bold with my love for Jesus, and for others.  I desired such unabashed intimacy.  It was out of her deep love and gratitude to Jesus for bringing her to herself, her healed and whole self, that she could pour out her own love for him.  

I found Jesus as an intimate friend, and even as a Lover, through Mary Magdalene.  I felt a door open up for a deeper connection with Holy Divine, by my connection with her.  She showed me how to receive love and healing.  And she showed me what it looks like to give love and healing.  I'm still working on opening myself up so I can let it flow as freely as she could. 

I will continue sharing stories with you about how I have come to know and love Mary Magdalene.   Let me know what, if anything, they open up in you!  Look for the stories on Facebook on my Eye of the Heart page or send me an email with your thoughts!

I am grateful that you have taken the time to share in this sacred journey.  Keep coming back here to read more of how my relationship has unfolded with Mary Magdalene!

with gratitude, and love, peace and healing!  Alisa