open heartedness

Georgia On My Mind

I'm intentionally sharing this, the story of the road that leads me back to Georgia, on January 15, 2021, the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr, who was born and began his inspiring leadership in Atlanta. I am also in awe of the many Black-bodied (mostly women!) organizers who knocked on doors, and encouraged the people of Georgia to let their voices be heard, resulting in the Rev Raphael Warnock and Jon Osoff winning the runoff election on January 5, to represent the people of Georgia in the US Senate. It's not about healing racism directly - but it is about a heart opening. And that's necessary to heal racism!

I found myself sitting on the front porch of a rustic and simple, but quite cozy and comfortable, cabin, looking out into the woods at the almost-full moon of November 30.  The full moon in Gemini, (I'm a Gemini...)full lunar eclipse, visible within 100 miles from me, had the snow clouds not blown in.  The woods of the mountains of North Georgia - Dawsonville, to be exact.   

 From Ray Charles - Georgia, O Georgia...

Located down an old gravel mining road with run-down double-wides, crisp new American flags, and Trespassers Will be Shot signs.  And UNclear delineations of where those property lines may lie.  I was a bit afraid as I drove in just after dark!  Nevertheless, I was warmly welcomed by my Airbnb host, to my clean, tidy, and, for me in my white body, safe home for the weekend.

"Let us all hope that the dark clouds of racial prejudice will soon pass away and the deep fog of misunderstanding will be lifted from our fear drenched communities and in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love...will shine over our great nation with their scintillating beauty."  MLK, Jr

I haven’t been to these mountains in over 30 years.  I don’t even think I have driven through them (and I've done A LOT of driving).  They were an integral part of my childhood, though!  A bit of curiosity and creativity, and courage, brought me back. 

Emerging out of a fairly isolated CoronaVirus quarantine, I chose to take a cross-country road trip, ultimately to meet up with my beautiful friend and colleague, Dana Gillispie, in the Pisgah National Forest in NC.  I managed to find a way to bring the dog, pieced together where I would stop, and who I would see, and spend extended time with only one person (my sister in MS) before greeting Dana in NC. 

Taking the more southern route to NC lead me through the beginning of the Appalachian mountains in Georgia, where I had spent the summers of my childhood, camping with my family and several others, as well as attending Episcopal church camp.  I was excited to explore those old stomping grounds!  I knew that it would be beautiful and refreshing, a nice reprieve from being at home.  I knew I would hike (I hoped on the Appalachian Trail) and drink in the sound of waterfalls and streams.  I intended to find the specific places I had been to as a kid.  

What I didn’t anticipate, though, were the feelings of love and connection that welled up within me as I drove on the windy roads through the Appalachians.  The deep gratitude I felt for the few colorful leaves left on the branches of the trees, the soft sounds of walking through fallen leaves, the evergreen pines, the gurgling of the streams, the sheer magnitude of the steep climb up the mountain.  Even as I write these words almost two months later, the tears spring up in my eyes.  O Georgia, my peace I find...

I was taking in this amazing land through my heart! Possibly for the first time. There had been so many layers between my senses and my heart when I was young. It was guarded well.

Now the sights, sounds, and smells touched me in such a powerful way!  Evidence that the capacity of my heart to take in beauty has greatly expanded!  I fall in love with the North Georgia mountains, as the woman I have become. Just an old sweet song...

I felt at home in the mountains as a child and a teenager - mostly that attachment came through the experiences I had there.  Happy times with family and friends, horses, streams.  I don’t know that I actually loved them....keeps Georgia on my mind.

I left Georgia almost 30 years ago.  The adventure at that time was coming to the city (“Big D”), going to graduate school, starting my career, finding a relationship.  With parents divorced and moved away from where I grew up, siblings gone, there was no “home” to come back to.  Home was where I created it.  Home was wherever my space was, where I lived.

In those 30 years, I have taken a deep dive into my Being.  Contemplative practices, healing and inner work, energy work, plant medicine, horse medicine, deep friendships.  I have been grieving and healing pains and losses from childhood, as well as trauma from my ancestry.  I’ve had my heart broken multiple times.  The depths the healing journey has taken me are astounding to me!  

"Only a refusal to hate or kill can put an end to the chain of violence in the world and lead us toward a community where [we] can live together without fear.  Our goal is to create a beloved community and this will require a qualitative change in our souls, as well as a quantitative change in our lives."  MLK, Jr

 

The path taken lead me to finding that feeling of "Home" right there in my heart.  With myself.  To more fully inhabiting the body of the woman I am.  The blockages on the inner road, between the senses of the body and heart, have been cleared. 

The way is opened for me to feel Home, especially in the Georgia Appalachians. 

It's as if the land, the Mountains, are reaching out to take my hand, whispering in my ear, asking me to dance, wooing my heart and soul.  O Georgia,...the road leads back to you!

"Yes!" is my answer to dancing with the Appalachian Mountains in Georgia! 

Shortly after returning to Austin from my SouthEast US excursion, I booked a cabin in North Georgia for a whole month, beginning in March!  I know I’m going to find trails, and waterfalls, wildlife, peace and quiet.  I imagine I will have visits from family members and friends who live closer to there than here.  (If you want to come for a healing retreat while I'm there, be sure to reach out!)

I have a strong sense that I’m going to find something else too!  It could be something that already lives deep within me.  It could be people I need to connect with.  It could be a deepening relationship with the mountains themselves.  I would like it to include connecting with the Spirit and traditions of the Indigenous peoples, whose home it was prior to colonization.  It could be that there is important healing work for me to participate in there.

I made a deep fast from most things electronic while on my road trip through Georgia and NC.  No news, no emails.  When I returned the first week in December, the Senate race runoff was a huge story!  All eyes were on Georgia!  It had everything to do with racial healing and justice!  At the same time as my heart had been pulled there! 

Maybe it will simply be the joy that comes from entering through a portal that has beckoned to me.

I was never so proud to be "from" Georgia as on November 5!  I believe that Dr. King was supporting and guiding the courageous people of Georgia from the spiritual realms!

Meanwhile, I have this amazing, cozy, spiritual, and healing space in Austin!  The kitchen was getting a makeover as I was playing in the mountains!  A beautiful new wood ceiling makes it feel like a cabin!

Why am I thinking about coming to Georgia when I'm making my house so much more beautiful? Believe me - I have some parts that are asking that!  Why? I'm simply following the energy! (Low-flying hawks crossing my path is a way I know that energy is calling!  What's the sign you receive?)  

Maybe the energy is leading someone else to spend time in Austin this Spring?  Maybe the energy calls for a writing retreat?  A change of scenery while working from home?  It will bring me joy to share my lovely space with someone who has gifts to receive from this part of the world! 

Where is the energy in your life leading you?  Which portal is beckoning you to walk through?  Does your heart need some healing so it can open more fully?  Do you connect with the sensual world, so that the body and the heart can communicate with each other?  Let me know what comes up for you!  And know that an intentional walk down the healing road is what leads you back to You!

If you haven't already, I strongly encourage you to consider two books at this auspicious time of honoring and celebrating the life of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  I Have a Dream, Writings & Speeches that changed the world. Edited by James E Washington

And My Grandmother's Hands, Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies by Resmaa Menakem.

Buy them from a Black-Owned Independent Bookstore.